Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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