the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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