um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
