Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The air was thick with penises
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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