I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize