Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
