And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
