She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
