I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
