we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
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She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
COCAINE IS GR8
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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