Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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