I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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