Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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