my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
