The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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