My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
