That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Someone came in the potted fern
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize