After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
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I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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