god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
