Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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