I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Acid is not a monday night drug
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
