Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
