More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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