Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
