I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize