great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
