i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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