so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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