I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
