yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
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You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
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Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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