I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
