Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
His hands were made for my vagina.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
