She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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