shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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