If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
