The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
