So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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