Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
