she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
