R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
