I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize