have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
