Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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