you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
