I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
