I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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