bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
