i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
