I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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