i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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