If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
