In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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