i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize