you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
