3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
