we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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