just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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