dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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