You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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