Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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